Political Instability - Bandhs

This month has been full of long days with nothing to do as a result of political bandhs taking place throughout Nepal.  The current government is tasked with completing the national Constitution by May 28th and the Supreme Court has refused to allow for another postponement.  Apparently, this process has taken several years already.  As a result many decisions are being made regarding "federalism" and how governance should be structured throughout the country.  There is an attempt to implement what they call "ethnic-based" federalism, where state and regional boundaries are drawn based on ethnic groups vs. resources, geography, etc.  This has resulted in growing tension between different ethnic groups such as the Madeshis, Newars, etc. Every group is claiming that they want their own state and equal representation in government.  Different groups throughout the country enforce a civil shutdown in protest - so no shops are open, no schools are open, there is no transit on the roads, not even bikes.  In fact, Satish was simply walking his bike, not even riding it and a group of protestors came and punctured his tires claiming that he should be on the streets supporting them.  In general, safety is not an issue if you're not engaged in the protests. But the alternative is that you're stuck at home and kids don't go to school. That's the worst. I really think that schools should be allowed to stay open since it really sets a horrible example for the future generation. This is not the way to effectively address political change. At least, not here. These bandhs don't influence the government one way or the other.  They just want to get this Constitution out.  And to be honest, it's going to be just like anything else in Nepal, rushed and botched up at the end.  I just hope these bandhs are over in the next few weeks.  I'm ready to go back to the office and have Manav back in school.

Manav goofing off in the new garden

Eating daal bhatt with his hands just like his didis!

Mother's Day Festivities in Nepal

Wedding season in Nepal

The Past 6 Months

We arrived in Nepal on October 23rd, over 6 months ago and we can truly say that this is home.  I was initially keeping a journal on my laptop because it was challenging to load pictures and post my blogs due to sporadic electricity and access to the internet.  I will make it my project to post some of those earlier entries so you have a glimpse of what those early couple of months were like...

Meanwhile, lots has happened with a fair amount of ups and downs.  Satish and I always framed our decision to move based on trade-offs that we were going to make - things we would be giving up in the U.S. for the life we would gian in Nepal.  Six months later we ask ourselves, are the trade-offs worth it, and we can both confidently say YES!  Our quality of life here is so much better than in the U.S.  Here are some of the reasons:

• No bills to pay - we have no rent, no credit cards, you just have to make sure you have cash in the bank!
• No laundry - everything is hand washed and line dried
• No grocery shopping - daily veggies are bought from the local market or delivered to us here at home
• No cooking or dishes - we hired a lovely woman who cooks yummy Nepali food for us every day and does the dishes
• No pressure to go to the gym - Satish goes jogging or biking with his cousins in the morning and I found a lovely yoga studio I can seek solace at
• No shuttling Manav to therapy appointments - ok, so I have some mixed emotions about this one. I do miss the swimming and hippotherapy and the support I got from all his therapists. But it really was very exhausting to manage his schedule
• No driving or parking - we bought a scooter to take us around, otherwise there are minibuses, taxis or we walk
• Manav is surrounded by tons of family and is learning Nepali, rituals and customs
• We have a huge vegetable garden and a lovely new yard for Manav to run around and play soccer
• There is tons of social activity with birthdays, dinners and regular family get togethers
• Satish and I have regular date nights because there is always someone here to be with Manav

The list can go on and on...  these things help me adjust to the long power outages, lack of playgrounds for Manav, missing our friends and family, the ocean.  That's another list that I'll save for another day.  Right now, I'm rejoicing in our new life here :)

JOBS 

I started working for Seva Foundation in late January it has been such a rewarding experience.  Seva is a small INGO that has been working in Nepal for over 30 years working to eliminate blindness by providing sight services and cataract surgeries to communities in need.  They have grown significantly in the past ten years and wanted someone to assess their programs, services and partnerships.  This two month project really made me feel like I found my niche.  It felt great to be an outsider and offer insight, analyze a situation and use my problem solving skills. The Seva team from Berkeley came to meet with us last week and it was so rewarding to know that they found my work informative and helpful. It reinforced that yes, I am capable of doing good work here!  We're now in the process of renewing my contract so that I can continue working with them.

Satish has also been working since December with the Nepal Investment Board, a government initiative to increase direct foreign investment to strenghten various sectors such as hydropower, agro-business, tourism, etc.  I think he was hit a bit with the fact that his salary went from six figures in the U.S. to about $750 a month here.  The work itself is exciting and has huge potential to do a lot of good for Nepal, if they are successful in cutting through the politics and beauracracy. He recently met with representatives from the Canadian government who were familiar with his work back in the U.S. in renewable energy, so that was a real boost for him!

MANAV

Manav has really adjusted very nicely to life here. He is picking up alot of Nepali and I was surprised how good his grammer is.  He is able to ride his tricycle without any pedal supports, kick a soccer ball around on the lawn, color in the lines, attempt tracing, is cutting paper with scissors, and can walk up small steps without any support. He is still a silly little boy who loves to make up songs and dance. He does Bhaya to Hazur Ma and Ba and Kamla PhuPhu in the mornings and learned the Gayatri Mantra at school. He's learned to do pooja, receive tikka, and mimicks mini bus conductors to the T!  I love his free loving spirit which has allowed him to cultivate such lovely relationships with his six didis, three phuphus, ma and ba.

Lately he has started getting very upset and crying in these uncontrollable fits, unpredictably.  He did this yesterday when he refused to get out of the bath, and this morning when he fought going to school. Sometimes I think it's because he's tired and hungry, but today I don't know what pushed his buttons.  It's so unlike him, and I'm a little concerned.  Time to refer to my parenting books again...



A visit to Lumbini, the birthplace of Lord Buddha

  

Manav asking Lord Buddha for peace, wisdom and more chocolate!

Family picture at a Delhi wedding earlier this month



Manav's Nepali birthday pooja - which is different every year according to the Nepali calendar.



Foods offered to the gods during Manav's birthday pooja



It All Fit...and Farewell to Rising Star, Kiwi, CCS and PIP...

This has been a remarkable week...  We are all so exhausted, both physically and emotionally.  Satish is finally resting after successfully shipping all our stuff this morning.  We had this ongoing challenge about whether things would fit and he kept reassuring me that it would.  I had a hard time believing it, but my gosh it was amazing how much they were able to pack into the wooden carton.  We are spending about $4,000 to ship 200 cubic feet of goods.  It was the perfect amount of space for all our belongings - clothes, shoes, legos, trains tracks, books, camping stove, new IKEA coach, pots and pans, knives and even our wine glasses all fit!  I am just so curious if it all makes it there in one piece.  If it does, I am truly amazed!

We can't believe it all fit so perfectly!

Farewell to the Cottage at Rising Star Montessori

Today was also Manav's last day at preschool.  I must say I am not that surprised that Manav is quite aware of everything that is happening, but I am impressed with how well he's handling it.  He keeps telling his teachers and therapists that he's going to be sad to leave because he's going to miss everyone.  But he follows it up by saying, but don't worry I'll come back and visit.  I can tell he had a hard time saying bye to Mama and Papa when they visited, and he was a bit shy and uncomfortable with all this attention on him during the farewell ceremony. We took bindhis and rakhis for his class and brought each of his teachers a plant asking them to always remember their sunshing - the name they have for Manav. 

Ms. Katrina, the principle was there and I must say I have just loved Manav's experience at this school.  They took him in and integrated him into the classroom in such a wonderful way that challenged Manav, but also helped him grow tremendously.  The transition to school was not easy, but Manav did it and he has truly thrived as a result.  We will miss all of his fabulous teachers...

Manav's Last Day with Kiwi and CCS

Manav had his final day riding Kiwi and it was so wonderful!  He was so proud of himself and enjoyed every minute of it.  Hippotherapy is another activity that has given Manav such pride and confidence.  He's trotting on kiwi where before he was so fearful of it, and now you can tell he loves it!  Manav brought an apple to give to Kiwi on her final day.  The woman who directs Xenophone started Hippotherapy programs in two other Asian countries and she has been encouraging about finding something in Nepal too.  Satish thinks maybe the military there...

The joy of riding Kiwi, one last time...

Final Playdate with Kitty and Kelsey

Manav's OT and PT from CCS have been amazing.  I learned so much about Manav just based on what they helped me learn about my own child.  They are sensitive, respectful and just tons of fun for Manav.  Manav has been at CCS ever since her was 7 months!  This place has been a place where we all have been able to grow so significantly.  We will all miss them so much!!

A picnic in the park with Kitty and Kelsey

Bye-bye PIP...

As soon as I stepped into the doors of PIP I cried...this was the place it all started.  What seemed like a nightmare ended up being the best thing in my life.  I met some amazing moms who have become my support system and women I have the utmost love and respect for.  But Karen and MaryBeth are a gift to so many families like ours.  They helped me understand Manav's CP, and accept him for the wonderful person that he is.  His love for music, silly jokes and wit were qualities they first recognized in him. They told me early on about how bright he is and how he is such an amazing little guy.  I just feel so fortunate to have had this experience...  I will definitely remain in touch with folks at PIP.

Manav riding his favorite roller coaster at PIP - Marybeth and Karen, our life savers :)

Feeling Really Overwhelmed

I'm really starting to feel overwhelmed.  I am sitting here writing even though I know I should be sorting, packing boxes and suitcases.  I'm feeling like I'm being pulled in so many directions and don't have enough time nor the energy to do it all.  Everyone wants to try and see us, plan dinners, etc. and I feel so bad that I can't indulge in being with them.  I'm too distracted and have too many things to do that it's hard for me to enjoy my time with visitng with others one last time.  I am also really disappointed that I haven't had time to blog and document this experience like I've wanted to.  So much has happened that I haven't been able to write about.  I'm just going to start recapping what's happened so far...

Our trip to the NW
We had a great time visiting everyone up in the Northwest in early September.  I realized that the trip started off pretty easy, and then progressively got harder and harder.  Finally the drive to the airport was when that yucky feeling in my gut hit and I knew that it was because we were leaving.  Even Manav could pick up on it and asked me, "Mama, are you feeling sad?" I said "yeah, Bubba I am sad..."  and he responds "Don't worry I'm gonna miss everyone too..."  Such a sensitive and perceptive little guy.

The Patel household is going through some tough growing pains and I hope they will be ok in the next couple of years...  It was hard to see them struggling so much, and that made it even harder to say good bye.  It was very interesting to see Manav instigating conflict with his Niki Dada.  I can tell he feels very comfortable with him and knows that Nikhil is his brother, not a friend.  Shefali, Sandi and company hosted a lovely Thanksgiving dinner for us since we'll be missing the festivities this year.  We had a turkey, ham, and all the trimmings.  It was so special and we all agreed that the food tasted much better in the middle of summer than on Thanksgiving itself!

We then made our way to Portland to visit Bhanu, Mark and Baby Rohin.  What a cutie pie Rohin is - such a lovely, charming little guy.  Manav played so well with him and it didn't instigate conflict.  In fact you could tell that Rohin wanted everything Manav had and Manav was struggling with hanging onto the toys.  We introduced Bhanu and Mark to some our friends in Portland - two very distinct couples that hopefully they will stay connected to.

We made our way back to Oly to visit Sukeshina, Joe and Suluv which was also very nice.  Sukeshina is a very affectionate person and I just want her and Suluv to be happy.  I am really proud of all her hard work in finishing nursing school.  Joe has played a really big role in making that happen for her.  Suluv is such a wonderful big brother and takes such good care of Manav.  It was so nice to see them together.

We then went to Sandi and Kate's place for a couple of nights and Manav had a blast playing the drums and we just indulged in good heart-to-hearts.  They are so fond of him and he really adores them too!  I can tell from the way he hugs them.  We went to a party and Manav invited everyone to his birthday party in Nepal.  He sat next to the most attractive woman there and chatted it up with her the entire time.  She was loving it and so was he!

Then we made our final stop in Bellevue to visit Neha's mom and dad.  It was so nice to see them and they treated us to CanAm Pizza and auntie made her amazing crab curry.  You could tell that we all indulged in lots of rice and curry.  Uncle so laboriously shelled the crab for me, it was so sweet :)  We took tons of fun pictures together and it was so nice and relaxing.  Leaving there place the next morning is when I started feeling that yucky feeling in my gut.  From that point on it's been a daily dose of the yuck in my gut...

 Yummy Thanksgiving dinner in September!

 The lovely pies that Helen made herself with our initials on top!

 They truly are brothers and love each other so much...

 The Patels, minus Maya who was taking the picture

 Visiting waterfalls right outside of Portland

 Baby Rohin and Manav - they loved playing in the dirt and picking tomatoes from the garden

 Manav and Mark showing us how much they love each other - this much!!

 Suluv and Manav smothering each other with love :)

 Sandi Masi who taught him how to jam on his drums to the Love Shack!

  Manav being "cool" with his Nani-ma and Nana-ji!

Only 2 weeks left...

I can't believe so much has happened in the past month.  Work has been really busy and we also went to the Northwest to visit family for the "last" time making it challenging to carve out the time to sit and write.  So here it is...a month full of lots of activity!

Open House Moving Sale



Some of our precious belongings that we sold and gave away to friends and neighbors...

  We held an open house and invited all our friends and neighbors to come and take some of our little treasures as a token to remember the Joshis.  It was a huge success and everyone walked away with something to add to there collection :)  Our goal was to sell our big ticket items before our trip to the Northwest on Sep. 1st and the mission was accomplished!  We met some new friends, like our Sri Lankan neighbor who bought our blender and rice cooker, and reconnected with old freinds, like Christine who I haven't seen in over 6 years ever since I left NYC!  It was a very special day that didn't feel too hectic and busy.  We were able to spend quality time with everyone who attended which was exactly what we were hoping for.  Lina and Ayaan came and stayed until the end and it was the first time we witnessed a very zealous Manav, truly instigating a fight with Ayaan.  They sounded like a domestic couple, with Manav yelling at Ayaan to be the patient while they played doctor, while she insisted that she would be the nurse.  They argued and yelled for nearly 30 minutes until Manav said that Ayaan was not his friend anymore and that he did not want her to come to Nepal to visit him.  That made me really sad to hear, even though I know he doesn't mean it.  I realized then that he is going to miss his best friend terribly.  Manav and Ayaan have always had a very special friendship, kissing and hugging each other from a very young age.  They have similar demeanors and are kind, sensitive, silly, bright kids.  When I asked Manav who he would like to give his goldfish Rop and Shawn to - he immediately said Ayaan.  I hope their friendship is sustained and continues, regardless of the distance.

Final Swim Lesson & Casting for New AFO Braces

Manav's last day with Dylan - his favorite swim instructor.  Dylan worked so hard and was so patient to make sure Manav was comfortable in the pool.  He grew to love the water and had a little fan club there waiting for him every week.  I hope we can find a pool in Nepal so that he can continue swimming.

 

Manav had a visit with TD at CRIS to cast his feet and legs for a third pair of AFO braces.  Manav's braces prevent him from hyperextending his legs which otherwise would add alot of strain to his knees.  Even though we think that many times Manav is walking better without his braces, the braces are a way to prevent damage to his joints (ie. ankles and knees).  He did great and I was impressed with his ability to sit still while TD kept him engaged with a rubber glove of his own.  She called it arts and crafts for his feet :)  We picked out a fun denim design with flames for the velcro straps.  I think he's going to love them! 

It's 12:30 at night and I'm fading...  I'll try and post again later this week on our family trip to the NW and Satish's final day at work today.  In summary, we are all starting to get that nauseous feeling in our guts, a visceral sensation to let us know that this move is rapidly approaching...

Thomas the Train!

We went to go visit Thomas the Train today in Santa Cruz and Manav had a great time! We told him last week that we were going to ride Thomas and he was so excited this morning. We got dressed in his train conductor outfit that Nishant and Neha gave to him on his birthday and we gave him a little Thomas surprise that had his cap, whistle and medallion to wear.  He just loved it!  He walked out the door feeling like such a big guy, it was hillarious!  We took pictures the whole time and it was truly a wonderful day :) 

What's nice is that Manav is getting older and I can tell he appreciates these things.  It makes him so happy which made the entire day completely worth it.

AESCLEPION AURA READING

On Saturday Satish and I went to have an aura reading at Aesclepion and it was truly amazing! I have been wanting us to go as a way to celebrate our anniversary and have some questions answered regarding our move to Nepal. We both had our own readings in separate rooms where we were given the opportunity to ask three questions.  They spent 90 minutes with each of us and we both walked away feeling validated and what they shared with us, affirmed our decision to move.  My reading focused alot on new directions and entering a transformative phase in my life.  They said that I had alot of clarity around our decision to move but that there was some heavy brown energy that was entering and making it challenging to feel completely happy. This had to do mainly with leaving behind mama and papa.  They said that I was a woman warrior in my previous life and that I was relying on this energy from this previous life to guide me in my new life, my new role as a woman in Nepal, which I thought was very interesting.  They said that I will definitely be challenged in my role as a woman in Nepal, but that I will be doing good work, work I've always wanted to do. Another powerful part of the reading had to do with having another child and letting go of some deep rooted pain and guilt around Manav's birth.  They helped me release some of the responsibility I was feeling about Manav's birth and said that it was pre-determined for us to have Manav.  In fact the three of us have traveled together as spirits in a previous life...which to me makes perfect sense, especially when it comes to Satish and I.  Things are so easy with us and happened so immediately that it must be something that we've learned from being together before...  They invited Manav's spirit into the room and read his aura/energy and said that he has a very strong sense of self, lots of confidence and is very capable.  They said that his physical body does not represent how big a presence he has. His aura revealed alot of red which I'm assuming is symbolic of how vibrant he is.  It completely resonates with what everyone says about Manav.  I see people become so drawn to him and are completely charmed by him - from his teachers and therapists to strangers in a restaurant or the store. People definitely do gravitate towards him, and Satish and I have nothing to do with that.  That's all him, and even these telepathic people could see that!  They continued to tell me that they do see another child, a little girl (though the child may not actually be a girl). They said that I can start talking to her and invite her into this journey with us even though she hasn't taken a physical form yet. Having my IUD removed later this month and thinking very actively about having another baby, has in some ways allowed us to invite this second child into our journey already...it was just so wonderfully validating, all of it.

For Satish, the entire experience was not as intense or mind blowing as it was for me.  They did share some very concrete things with him that were completely accurate - such as being surrounded by women and that he must have been like a guru in his previous life.  It makes perfect sense because Satish is so calm, grounded, not affected by drama unfolding around him and is just very Zen. Much of that wisdom is brought into this current life of his.  They said that the first couple of years will be a bit tough for us in Nepal, but that financially we will be fine.

I had three people doing my reading with me, including one of the lead instructors for the center, and she was the one who assigned us to the different healers/readers.  I think she knew I had more work that I needed to do than Satish...  anyhow, it was a wonderful experience and we both were so glad that we did it.  It's validated our inner calling to embark on this move to Nepal and has allowed us to accept our family for the beautiful spirits that we are, individually and collectively.

 

Our Last Raodtrip to LA

Last weekend we went to visit Papa (we only got to see Mama briefly before she flew out Saturday morning to spend 3 weeks up north) and it left me feeling very heavy hearted.  I have been quite rational about our move, explaining to others how "yes, I'll miss my family but I'll come every year to see them, it won't be that bad" - I was obviously not ready to feel, until now...  Papa just looks tired and older every time I see him - which is to be expected and shouldn't be alarming.  I wonder if he's going to be ok...  His relationship with Manav is very special. Manav said he wanted to sleep with his Nana the whole weekend and they did sleep together, it was very nice :) I could tell Papa felt very special to know that Manav wanted to sleep with him.  They hung out in the backyard and Papa watched Manav do a puzzle all by himself and kept saying how smart he is.  One thing that is hard for Papa to see, is Manav falling.  He gets very concerned and is nearly in tears every time Manav falls or cries.  We are much more immune to it, but Papa seems to become more sensitive over time rather then less... But this week has been remarkable for Manav!  He has really hit some very significant milestones. 

This week Manav is truly, officially potty trained!  He is doing pee-pee and poo-poo in the big toilet with a pink Dora supported toilet seat cover and he is so proud of himself.  His diaper is consistently dry in the mornings when he wakes up. I think next week he will go to school in underwear and no more pull ups!  Even Kitty, his OT at CCS is so impressed with how fast he was potty trained.  I'm afraid we're going to have to buy him the guitar set we promised him.  I suggested a marching band drum that he can wear and he gave me a weird look and said, "no mama, the drum set with the cymbal"  geez, with the cymbal?!  Another very significant milestone Manav hit yesterday was riding the big slide down by himself, and enjoying it!  I did sit behind him, but we were a couple feet apart and I was not offering any support.  He really did go down all by himself, and he enjoyed it so much he wanted to do it more!  I thought I would never hear those words from him. It was so wonderful that he felt confident and safe riding down the slide.  Manav is able to get in and out of the car and his carseat without any help.  I've noticed that he can take his AFO braces and shoes off by himself.  And, for the very first time on Monday, he walked all the way from the car to the front door wearing his backpack!  He has not been able to do that at all because the backpack causes him to lose his balance.  It wasn't very full with a fairly empty lunchbox and juice cup, but it was huge for him, and he was so so proud of himself that it made my heart swell.  These are the things that I was trying to share with Papa over email so that he knows how significant these accomplishments are for Manav.

Leaving LA on Sunday was tough.  I was in a funk that day not knowing why until Satish pointed out that this will be our roadtrip to LA.  That just triggered the tears for me.  I think leaving Papa alone was also really tough.  Manav was quite upset when leaving saying that he wanted to stay with Nana and refusing to say bye to him.  It made Papa sad and it made me sad too.  I rarely cry in front of Papa, and I didn't want him to see me upset.  Kids are so honest and candid - it is quite refreshing to express genuine raw emotions.  Here I am trying to hide my heavy heart while Manav is just screaming, "No, I don't want to go, I want to stay here with Nana."  How the heck is this child going to say bye when we leave for Nepal?

Other than that, we're indulging in park playdates, dinners with friends, and low key weekends close to "home"...

Here's Manav riding the pink pony at Montclair Park with some of his best buddies Simon and Zoe.