It All Fit...and Farewell to Rising Star, Kiwi, CCS and PIP...

This has been a remarkable week...  We are all so exhausted, both physically and emotionally.  Satish is finally resting after successfully shipping all our stuff this morning.  We had this ongoing challenge about whether things would fit and he kept reassuring me that it would.  I had a hard time believing it, but my gosh it was amazing how much they were able to pack into the wooden carton.  We are spending about $4,000 to ship 200 cubic feet of goods.  It was the perfect amount of space for all our belongings - clothes, shoes, legos, trains tracks, books, camping stove, new IKEA coach, pots and pans, knives and even our wine glasses all fit!  I am just so curious if it all makes it there in one piece.  If it does, I am truly amazed!

We can't believe it all fit so perfectly!

Farewell to the Cottage at Rising Star Montessori

Today was also Manav's last day at preschool.  I must say I am not that surprised that Manav is quite aware of everything that is happening, but I am impressed with how well he's handling it.  He keeps telling his teachers and therapists that he's going to be sad to leave because he's going to miss everyone.  But he follows it up by saying, but don't worry I'll come back and visit.  I can tell he had a hard time saying bye to Mama and Papa when they visited, and he was a bit shy and uncomfortable with all this attention on him during the farewell ceremony. We took bindhis and rakhis for his class and brought each of his teachers a plant asking them to always remember their sunshing - the name they have for Manav. 

Ms. Katrina, the principle was there and I must say I have just loved Manav's experience at this school.  They took him in and integrated him into the classroom in such a wonderful way that challenged Manav, but also helped him grow tremendously.  The transition to school was not easy, but Manav did it and he has truly thrived as a result.  We will miss all of his fabulous teachers...

Manav's Last Day with Kiwi and CCS

Manav had his final day riding Kiwi and it was so wonderful!  He was so proud of himself and enjoyed every minute of it.  Hippotherapy is another activity that has given Manav such pride and confidence.  He's trotting on kiwi where before he was so fearful of it, and now you can tell he loves it!  Manav brought an apple to give to Kiwi on her final day.  The woman who directs Xenophone started Hippotherapy programs in two other Asian countries and she has been encouraging about finding something in Nepal too.  Satish thinks maybe the military there...

The joy of riding Kiwi, one last time...

Final Playdate with Kitty and Kelsey

Manav's OT and PT from CCS have been amazing.  I learned so much about Manav just based on what they helped me learn about my own child.  They are sensitive, respectful and just tons of fun for Manav.  Manav has been at CCS ever since her was 7 months!  This place has been a place where we all have been able to grow so significantly.  We will all miss them so much!!

A picnic in the park with Kitty and Kelsey

Bye-bye PIP...

As soon as I stepped into the doors of PIP I cried...this was the place it all started.  What seemed like a nightmare ended up being the best thing in my life.  I met some amazing moms who have become my support system and women I have the utmost love and respect for.  But Karen and MaryBeth are a gift to so many families like ours.  They helped me understand Manav's CP, and accept him for the wonderful person that he is.  His love for music, silly jokes and wit were qualities they first recognized in him. They told me early on about how bright he is and how he is such an amazing little guy.  I just feel so fortunate to have had this experience...  I will definitely remain in touch with folks at PIP.

Manav riding his favorite roller coaster at PIP - Marybeth and Karen, our life savers :)

Feeling Really Overwhelmed

I'm really starting to feel overwhelmed.  I am sitting here writing even though I know I should be sorting, packing boxes and suitcases.  I'm feeling like I'm being pulled in so many directions and don't have enough time nor the energy to do it all.  Everyone wants to try and see us, plan dinners, etc. and I feel so bad that I can't indulge in being with them.  I'm too distracted and have too many things to do that it's hard for me to enjoy my time with visitng with others one last time.  I am also really disappointed that I haven't had time to blog and document this experience like I've wanted to.  So much has happened that I haven't been able to write about.  I'm just going to start recapping what's happened so far...

Our trip to the NW
We had a great time visiting everyone up in the Northwest in early September.  I realized that the trip started off pretty easy, and then progressively got harder and harder.  Finally the drive to the airport was when that yucky feeling in my gut hit and I knew that it was because we were leaving.  Even Manav could pick up on it and asked me, "Mama, are you feeling sad?" I said "yeah, Bubba I am sad..."  and he responds "Don't worry I'm gonna miss everyone too..."  Such a sensitive and perceptive little guy.

The Patel household is going through some tough growing pains and I hope they will be ok in the next couple of years...  It was hard to see them struggling so much, and that made it even harder to say good bye.  It was very interesting to see Manav instigating conflict with his Niki Dada.  I can tell he feels very comfortable with him and knows that Nikhil is his brother, not a friend.  Shefali, Sandi and company hosted a lovely Thanksgiving dinner for us since we'll be missing the festivities this year.  We had a turkey, ham, and all the trimmings.  It was so special and we all agreed that the food tasted much better in the middle of summer than on Thanksgiving itself!

We then made our way to Portland to visit Bhanu, Mark and Baby Rohin.  What a cutie pie Rohin is - such a lovely, charming little guy.  Manav played so well with him and it didn't instigate conflict.  In fact you could tell that Rohin wanted everything Manav had and Manav was struggling with hanging onto the toys.  We introduced Bhanu and Mark to some our friends in Portland - two very distinct couples that hopefully they will stay connected to.

We made our way back to Oly to visit Sukeshina, Joe and Suluv which was also very nice.  Sukeshina is a very affectionate person and I just want her and Suluv to be happy.  I am really proud of all her hard work in finishing nursing school.  Joe has played a really big role in making that happen for her.  Suluv is such a wonderful big brother and takes such good care of Manav.  It was so nice to see them together.

We then went to Sandi and Kate's place for a couple of nights and Manav had a blast playing the drums and we just indulged in good heart-to-hearts.  They are so fond of him and he really adores them too!  I can tell from the way he hugs them.  We went to a party and Manav invited everyone to his birthday party in Nepal.  He sat next to the most attractive woman there and chatted it up with her the entire time.  She was loving it and so was he!

Then we made our final stop in Bellevue to visit Neha's mom and dad.  It was so nice to see them and they treated us to CanAm Pizza and auntie made her amazing crab curry.  You could tell that we all indulged in lots of rice and curry.  Uncle so laboriously shelled the crab for me, it was so sweet :)  We took tons of fun pictures together and it was so nice and relaxing.  Leaving there place the next morning is when I started feeling that yucky feeling in my gut.  From that point on it's been a daily dose of the yuck in my gut...

 Yummy Thanksgiving dinner in September!

 The lovely pies that Helen made herself with our initials on top!

 They truly are brothers and love each other so much...

 The Patels, minus Maya who was taking the picture

 Visiting waterfalls right outside of Portland

 Baby Rohin and Manav - they loved playing in the dirt and picking tomatoes from the garden

 Manav and Mark showing us how much they love each other - this much!!

 Suluv and Manav smothering each other with love :)

 Sandi Masi who taught him how to jam on his drums to the Love Shack!

  Manav being "cool" with his Nani-ma and Nana-ji!

Only 2 weeks left...

I can't believe so much has happened in the past month.  Work has been really busy and we also went to the Northwest to visit family for the "last" time making it challenging to carve out the time to sit and write.  So here it is...a month full of lots of activity!

Open House Moving Sale



Some of our precious belongings that we sold and gave away to friends and neighbors...

  We held an open house and invited all our friends and neighbors to come and take some of our little treasures as a token to remember the Joshis.  It was a huge success and everyone walked away with something to add to there collection :)  Our goal was to sell our big ticket items before our trip to the Northwest on Sep. 1st and the mission was accomplished!  We met some new friends, like our Sri Lankan neighbor who bought our blender and rice cooker, and reconnected with old freinds, like Christine who I haven't seen in over 6 years ever since I left NYC!  It was a very special day that didn't feel too hectic and busy.  We were able to spend quality time with everyone who attended which was exactly what we were hoping for.  Lina and Ayaan came and stayed until the end and it was the first time we witnessed a very zealous Manav, truly instigating a fight with Ayaan.  They sounded like a domestic couple, with Manav yelling at Ayaan to be the patient while they played doctor, while she insisted that she would be the nurse.  They argued and yelled for nearly 30 minutes until Manav said that Ayaan was not his friend anymore and that he did not want her to come to Nepal to visit him.  That made me really sad to hear, even though I know he doesn't mean it.  I realized then that he is going to miss his best friend terribly.  Manav and Ayaan have always had a very special friendship, kissing and hugging each other from a very young age.  They have similar demeanors and are kind, sensitive, silly, bright kids.  When I asked Manav who he would like to give his goldfish Rop and Shawn to - he immediately said Ayaan.  I hope their friendship is sustained and continues, regardless of the distance.

Final Swim Lesson & Casting for New AFO Braces

Manav's last day with Dylan - his favorite swim instructor.  Dylan worked so hard and was so patient to make sure Manav was comfortable in the pool.  He grew to love the water and had a little fan club there waiting for him every week.  I hope we can find a pool in Nepal so that he can continue swimming.

 

Manav had a visit with TD at CRIS to cast his feet and legs for a third pair of AFO braces.  Manav's braces prevent him from hyperextending his legs which otherwise would add alot of strain to his knees.  Even though we think that many times Manav is walking better without his braces, the braces are a way to prevent damage to his joints (ie. ankles and knees).  He did great and I was impressed with his ability to sit still while TD kept him engaged with a rubber glove of his own.  She called it arts and crafts for his feet :)  We picked out a fun denim design with flames for the velcro straps.  I think he's going to love them! 

It's 12:30 at night and I'm fading...  I'll try and post again later this week on our family trip to the NW and Satish's final day at work today.  In summary, we are all starting to get that nauseous feeling in our guts, a visceral sensation to let us know that this move is rapidly approaching...

Thomas the Train!

We went to go visit Thomas the Train today in Santa Cruz and Manav had a great time! We told him last week that we were going to ride Thomas and he was so excited this morning. We got dressed in his train conductor outfit that Nishant and Neha gave to him on his birthday and we gave him a little Thomas surprise that had his cap, whistle and medallion to wear.  He just loved it!  He walked out the door feeling like such a big guy, it was hillarious!  We took pictures the whole time and it was truly a wonderful day :) 

What's nice is that Manav is getting older and I can tell he appreciates these things.  It makes him so happy which made the entire day completely worth it.

AESCLEPION AURA READING

On Saturday Satish and I went to have an aura reading at Aesclepion and it was truly amazing! I have been wanting us to go as a way to celebrate our anniversary and have some questions answered regarding our move to Nepal. We both had our own readings in separate rooms where we were given the opportunity to ask three questions.  They spent 90 minutes with each of us and we both walked away feeling validated and what they shared with us, affirmed our decision to move.  My reading focused alot on new directions and entering a transformative phase in my life.  They said that I had alot of clarity around our decision to move but that there was some heavy brown energy that was entering and making it challenging to feel completely happy. This had to do mainly with leaving behind mama and papa.  They said that I was a woman warrior in my previous life and that I was relying on this energy from this previous life to guide me in my new life, my new role as a woman in Nepal, which I thought was very interesting.  They said that I will definitely be challenged in my role as a woman in Nepal, but that I will be doing good work, work I've always wanted to do. Another powerful part of the reading had to do with having another child and letting go of some deep rooted pain and guilt around Manav's birth.  They helped me release some of the responsibility I was feeling about Manav's birth and said that it was pre-determined for us to have Manav.  In fact the three of us have traveled together as spirits in a previous life...which to me makes perfect sense, especially when it comes to Satish and I.  Things are so easy with us and happened so immediately that it must be something that we've learned from being together before...  They invited Manav's spirit into the room and read his aura/energy and said that he has a very strong sense of self, lots of confidence and is very capable.  They said that his physical body does not represent how big a presence he has. His aura revealed alot of red which I'm assuming is symbolic of how vibrant he is.  It completely resonates with what everyone says about Manav.  I see people become so drawn to him and are completely charmed by him - from his teachers and therapists to strangers in a restaurant or the store. People definitely do gravitate towards him, and Satish and I have nothing to do with that.  That's all him, and even these telepathic people could see that!  They continued to tell me that they do see another child, a little girl (though the child may not actually be a girl). They said that I can start talking to her and invite her into this journey with us even though she hasn't taken a physical form yet. Having my IUD removed later this month and thinking very actively about having another baby, has in some ways allowed us to invite this second child into our journey already...it was just so wonderfully validating, all of it.

For Satish, the entire experience was not as intense or mind blowing as it was for me.  They did share some very concrete things with him that were completely accurate - such as being surrounded by women and that he must have been like a guru in his previous life.  It makes perfect sense because Satish is so calm, grounded, not affected by drama unfolding around him and is just very Zen. Much of that wisdom is brought into this current life of his.  They said that the first couple of years will be a bit tough for us in Nepal, but that financially we will be fine.

I had three people doing my reading with me, including one of the lead instructors for the center, and she was the one who assigned us to the different healers/readers.  I think she knew I had more work that I needed to do than Satish...  anyhow, it was a wonderful experience and we both were so glad that we did it.  It's validated our inner calling to embark on this move to Nepal and has allowed us to accept our family for the beautiful spirits that we are, individually and collectively.

 

Our Last Raodtrip to LA

Last weekend we went to visit Papa (we only got to see Mama briefly before she flew out Saturday morning to spend 3 weeks up north) and it left me feeling very heavy hearted.  I have been quite rational about our move, explaining to others how "yes, I'll miss my family but I'll come every year to see them, it won't be that bad" - I was obviously not ready to feel, until now...  Papa just looks tired and older every time I see him - which is to be expected and shouldn't be alarming.  I wonder if he's going to be ok...  His relationship with Manav is very special. Manav said he wanted to sleep with his Nana the whole weekend and they did sleep together, it was very nice :) I could tell Papa felt very special to know that Manav wanted to sleep with him.  They hung out in the backyard and Papa watched Manav do a puzzle all by himself and kept saying how smart he is.  One thing that is hard for Papa to see, is Manav falling.  He gets very concerned and is nearly in tears every time Manav falls or cries.  We are much more immune to it, but Papa seems to become more sensitive over time rather then less... But this week has been remarkable for Manav!  He has really hit some very significant milestones. 

This week Manav is truly, officially potty trained!  He is doing pee-pee and poo-poo in the big toilet with a pink Dora supported toilet seat cover and he is so proud of himself.  His diaper is consistently dry in the mornings when he wakes up. I think next week he will go to school in underwear and no more pull ups!  Even Kitty, his OT at CCS is so impressed with how fast he was potty trained.  I'm afraid we're going to have to buy him the guitar set we promised him.  I suggested a marching band drum that he can wear and he gave me a weird look and said, "no mama, the drum set with the cymbal"  geez, with the cymbal?!  Another very significant milestone Manav hit yesterday was riding the big slide down by himself, and enjoying it!  I did sit behind him, but we were a couple feet apart and I was not offering any support.  He really did go down all by himself, and he enjoyed it so much he wanted to do it more!  I thought I would never hear those words from him. It was so wonderful that he felt confident and safe riding down the slide.  Manav is able to get in and out of the car and his carseat without any help.  I've noticed that he can take his AFO braces and shoes off by himself.  And, for the very first time on Monday, he walked all the way from the car to the front door wearing his backpack!  He has not been able to do that at all because the backpack causes him to lose his balance.  It wasn't very full with a fairly empty lunchbox and juice cup, but it was huge for him, and he was so so proud of himself that it made my heart swell.  These are the things that I was trying to share with Papa over email so that he knows how significant these accomplishments are for Manav.

Leaving LA on Sunday was tough.  I was in a funk that day not knowing why until Satish pointed out that this will be our roadtrip to LA.  That just triggered the tears for me.  I think leaving Papa alone was also really tough.  Manav was quite upset when leaving saying that he wanted to stay with Nana and refusing to say bye to him.  It made Papa sad and it made me sad too.  I rarely cry in front of Papa, and I didn't want him to see me upset.  Kids are so honest and candid - it is quite refreshing to express genuine raw emotions.  Here I am trying to hide my heavy heart while Manav is just screaming, "No, I don't want to go, I want to stay here with Nana."  How the heck is this child going to say bye when we leave for Nepal?

Other than that, we're indulging in park playdates, dinners with friends, and low key weekends close to "home"...

Here's Manav riding the pink pony at Montclair Park with some of his best buddies Simon and Zoe.

A Weekend For Catching Up

It was a packed weekend with old friends visiting and staying with us overnight.  We had a mini reunion with EAP India friends for dinner on Friday.  I can't believe that it's been thirteen years since that formative study abroad trip to India.  I can still remember the strong drive to go to India on my own as an adult and live, work, learn and feel a strong sense of belonging.  The entire experience shook me in a very deep way and I felt back then what I still feel now, that I need to be there.  So yes, Nepal is not India - but in many ways Nepal will offer a nicer contrast to life in the U.S.  The sky is blue, the life a still a bit slower, open rooftops for having morning chai, drying close and feeding the birds.  It was very nice to reconnect with a few old friends and realize that I was finally living out dream that took form over 13 years ago...

Lisa also came from Boston to spend some time with us.  It was so odd to hear her say that the next time she'll see me may be in Nepal - it made me realize that this is the first of many "until Nepal" meetings with close friends.  Lisa is truly special and a gem of a person.  She is a spunky principle of a charter middle school and is so gracious about allowing us to pick her brain around the challenges of starting a school and setting it up for success.  I could tell Satish was getting really excited listening to her talk about curriculum development, educational philosophies, etc.  I really hope that we are able to remain in Nepal long enough to work on setting up schools in Nepal...

Until then we will be focusing on setting up home, building a business on the family land, getting Manav into a good school, getting a good-paying public health consulting job and having another baby...    

The Tickets Have Been Bought

Satish purchased our tickets from LA to London to Kathmandu today, which means it's official...  we are definitely moving to Nepal.  Both of us have been struggling with work, but for different reasons.  I am much more stressed trying to wrap up the Breast Cancer Mapping Project while Satish is feeling heavy hearted as his co-workers are coming to him with tremendous support around his decision.  I on the other hand just need to move on my final reports and crank them it out...

Manav has been doing great with the potty-training, one of our big goals prior to our move.  He's transitioned to sitting on the big potty and using the public toilet.  I think Satish taking him to the bathroom has contributed to the success.  We're still working on pooping in the potty, which has been inconsistent.  Anyway, probably way more information than is needed...

I did drop off at Manav's preschool today, at Rising Star Montessori and he was so upset, angry and screaming, begging me to take him to work with me.  I felt so bad for him and I didn't know what to do. I looked around and realized that none of his school friends were there for the summer.  He was surrounded by new faces, new teachers and students.  He wasn't handling this very well.  My guess is that once others, including kids, are around Manav they know how to respect his sense of space and be "gentle" around him.  These new kids probably haven't figured that out and that's why he doesn't feel safe around them.  It makes me worry about his transition to school in Nepal...

We went to hippotherapy yesterday and Manav did a great job riding Kiwi.  He's still not ready to trot, and is very clear about communicating that to me and his hippotherapists.  I can tell that it's hard work for him, physically and mentally.  He always starts the session tense and nervous and then he becomes more comfortable, feels more secure and does more on the horse.  Maybe we can find some horse riding in Nepal??  Let's just hope next week he'll be ready to do some trotting :)

The reality hits

Ever since July 4th, we realized that we have exactly 3 months before we leave Oakland on October 4th to make our move to Nepal.  The last couple of weeks have been focused on everything from making contacts with expats who lived in Nepal (Judy, Leslie's aunt - Leslie is Diana's good friend), deciding what to ship to Nepal, sending out an evite for an Open House to sell our prized posessions, scheduling final doctor appts, creating shopping lists, and most importantly reconnecting with friends and indulging in life at "home". Tonight we went to Off The Grid in San Francisco which was another wonderful discovery that young, hip Priti exposed us to.  Fusion food trucks all parked at Fort Mason with people packed in long lines to try the tempting creations - Korean tacos, mac & cheese egg rolls, all of it yummy!  I did feel overwhelmed, but in a good way - so, so happy to be out and indulge in being with a happy crowd of people - and to run into a good friend among the sea of people was the highlight.  Diana recognized Manav's orange stroller immediately and it was so nice to see her there - one of our most dear and closest friends :)  I vowed to be at Off the Grid as many Fridays as I can before we leave!

Many of our friends have already offered to buy our big ticket items - coach, dining table, bed, Satish's bike...  I think it will be odd once the big things are cleared out from our place.

Satish told his boss at work today about our move and his boss was shocked.  He respects Satish's decision to be closer to family, and has known that this is what Satish has wanted, but like many others in our lives, he didn't realize it was actually happening this soon.  This I think makes it really, really official.  Satish even gave me license to announce it on Facebook!

Bottom line though, is that we are very very ready!  Even Manav :)  He keeps telling his teachers at Rising Star Montessori that he is moving to Nepal.  Today, while he was working with Stacy from Starfish Therapies - he kept telling her that he was moving to Nepal in October.  I'm not sure he really understands the permanence of it.  It'll be interesting if he asks to go "home" once we're in Nepal and we'll have to explain that Nepal is our new home.  I think he'll get it.  He's going to see our things being packed and sent away and he'll see them arrive, and he'll know just like we all know that Nepal is going to be our new home.